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George W. Bush
George Walker Bush (born July 6, 1946) is the 43rd President of the United States. He is known as one of the greatest presidents of the United States in history, and a living legend. After Bill Clinton nearly destroyed America in the 90s, alternatives to a liberal presidency were sought and Bush stepped up and destroyed Al Gore, proving that the silent majority are conservatives. Libs never gave him a chance however, demonstrated by his 90% approval rating after 9/11 falling steadily in the following 7 years. Today they continue to blame him for EVERYTHING that happened as a result of his policies, while giving Obama a pass. Early Life Bush was born in Connecticut but raised himself by the bootstraps and moved to Texas which is where real men live. He was a brilliant student who attended Yale, and unlike Obama he didnt get in because of his race. He went to Harvard and got an MBA, which Obama also doesnt have instead he has some garbage law degree. Pathetic. Bush also served bravely in the National Guard. Later he met Laura Bush who is a beautiful classy woman unlike Michelle Obama. He married her and his offspring included daughters Jenna and Barbara. Also his father was president but I dont think thats relevant. Bush was able to accomplish anything he put his mind to using bootstraps and hard work coupled with personal responsibility. Bush at one time was a drinker but he quit before being elected, unlike Obama who drinks beer at basketball games which along with his smoking habit shows he has an addiction. Tonic and gin blossoms into cocaine and marijuana use before you know it, which is why Obama does all three. Career With his prestigous MBA Bush was a natural to run businesses. He did so well he was able to buy the Texas Rangers. Not only was running this business easy, it was better than ease. Rangers like Juan Gonzales and Rafael Palmeiro thrived, hitting many homeruns thanks to Bushs business plan. He then started the series Walker Texas Ranger based on himself, which starred Chuck Norris who is really smart. However the Rangers didnt do so well because of Alex Rodriguez, so Bush decided to sell the team and concentrate on his savings and loan businesses which were doing really well. Politics After excelling for years as a businessman, Bush decided he needed a new challenge. He ran for Governer and won easily. As Governer he was able to keep a lot of criminals from trying to get out of the death penalty. Then because he had executive experience, which Obama doesnt have, he ran for President and easily defeated Al Gore. Bush knew that he had to be a conservative and cut federal spending because the Founding Fathers wanted states to have that power and we need to concentrate on being local. Honestly, what kind of idiot thinks that the federal government would ever need to spend a lot of money? Why would they? Presidency As President, Bush was put in an impossible position. He had to deal with the greatest tragedy of all time, 9/11. Bush, an avib reader, sat stunned when an aide interrupted him reading his favorite novel to schoolchildren: the World Trade Center had been attacked by terrorists. Bush, after several minutes, realized this meant are nation was in peril. Jammed into a difficult position, he decided to do massive spending and nation building even though he is against those things. Then came Hurricane Katrina, which was compounded by the fact that the people of New Orleans REFUSED to be rescued, they actually shot at people trying to help them. Babies had there throats slit at the Superdome, and dont forget the famous picture as some grungy Black rows through the water looting while Whites were just trying to survive. Kanye West even called Bush a cracker. Through all this, Bush was able to pass legislation which helped to protect America, and also stimulate the economy. He gave money to all the taxpayers, and he got rid of stupid environmental laws that only appeal to left wing whackos. He also signed the Defense Of Marriage Act to make sure some gay guy doesnt try to make me his bride in an alternative lifestyle and I have to kiss him on his flaming lips after saying "I do". Because I do NOT. War Guided by voices in his head which were obviously God, Bush knew we had to hit back at the people who hit us AKA Afghanistan. He had no faith no more terrorist attacks would occur if we could simply wipe out countries that they come from. So it was time for Operation Infinite Crusade, which later had its name changed for some reason. Everyone knew the war in Afghanistan would be easy, because the Afghan wigbigs known as the Taliban operate out of like a stone temple. Pilots had no trouble then bombing then back to the stone age by just dropping bombs wherever and the war was easily won like 6 months later on 3/11. Never forget. Then came Iraq, who also attacked us apparently. That war also went so quick it was a blur, mission accomplished with like no lives lost. Some civilians might have died but hey, war is hell. We meant them no malice and chains of command set out to prevent that very thing. But so what if it did happen because Islam is a bad religion and muslims have no soul. Asylum would have been granted to any of the ones who helped us anyway, but for some reason no one brought us the head of bin Laden so there loss. Re-election Despite this, the Democrats fought him tooth and nail every step of the way, because there traitors. They tried to run John Kerry against him in 2004. Kerry at that time was the most liberal senator, although before the next election Obama became the most liberal senator. America did NOT want Kerry in charge especially because when he fought in Vietnam he didnt even earn his metals. More like a purple heart bandaid. So they reelected Bush by an even bigger margin then in 2000. Bush went on to continue his streak of being the best president, fighting against stem cells and human animal hybrids. Finally in 2008 he left office. America wept as Bush said his final goodbys and went to Texas, which he probably missed a lot, not being able to go there very often because he was always in Washington dealing with problems. Post-presidency Miss him yet? When you filter out the fringe element which is like 70% of the nation and just listen to the people with common sense, you knew that Bush was the greatest and Obama would be the worst. And now its been proven. After 8 years in office Bush left us and are lives were perfect and the economy was sound. Gardens, ipods, mustard and teleprompters later, Obama has changed all that. He has spent us into a hole from which we will never recover and robbed us blind. Melonheaded libs meanwhile still support him, however libs no longer support him as it is becoming ever clearer that he is a failure. This guy has some nerve. On a mission to destroy America, he has singlehandledly taken all the surplusses Bush left him and wasted them. This healthcare thing seals it, the guy is a menace. While this latte liberal is ordering mustard on his arugala and tofu, fighters are dying for are freedom yet Obama wont stop these wars of his choosing. Bush to his credit has remained humble but there is no doubt hes itching to get back to the Presidency and we need to make it happen, or at least elect someone of equal intelligence such as Glenn Beck, Sarah Palin or Joe the Plumber.